Realisation
Hello !
I am unemployed.
I had a dream, last night. I was travelling to a new place, a place I had never visited, I was happy, carrying a rucksack, a yoga mat, my potter's wheel and paints. I was looking out the window of the train, it was raining and I had this feeling of being full, feeling complete.
I wish I had that dream.
Unemployment has different effects on different people, depending what their weakness is, mine is that I think of great plans but I never act on them, I start, but I leave it half way, because I'm lazy.
So to me unemployment is this person who is showing me the mirror atleast ten times a day.
Self discipline, mind management, time management, enthusiasm, they all visit for a few hours and then they leave.
Sad. Very sad.
" Oh you have time! You can do anything you want to! You can go out, paint, exercise, join a class."
Frustration.
"Oh you are soo lucky to not have a job! You can do anything you want! Go out on a vacation, do yoga! Meditate! You'll never gets this time back"
I am not not having a job out of choice. Bullshit.
You know, meditation helps. But most of the time I feel like I'm a pregnant woman, hormones going crazy, moods changing drastically, every hour. Unemployment has the potential to drive me nuts.
There are days where I'm thinking to myself that 'hey! I can start something of my own! this is great!' or 'hey! good things take time.' I have my fair share of optimism and I try, but by the fourth day, I'm done, I just don't know what to do!
I know a bunch of people who would kill to get some time, hell I was one of those people. Making huge lists of what books I'll read, all the places I want to go to.
But, not having a job, makes you sad, sadness leads to self doubt which leads to lethargy and here I am whining in an article about not having a job.
I am learning everyday, today is just one of those bad days, that's all. I am learning that there are people who are self driven, I am not those people, I need to be pushed, I need to be inspired.
Not having a job isn't just about not having a job. It's a very tough journey of accepting some really difficult truths about yourself and trying a little everyday to fight them. Some days you win, some days you lose.
I am a strong believer in the fact that sometimes, no matter how much we try, we are unable to take the next step. My explanation for this is that maybe we're not trying for the right thing, maybe the universe is trying to steer us in a different direction or maybe we're just out of luck and support. But that doesn't mean that we quit.
We try a little. Take baby steps everyday and remember that tomorrow is a new day.
I am unemployed.
I had a dream, last night. I was travelling to a new place, a place I had never visited, I was happy, carrying a rucksack, a yoga mat, my potter's wheel and paints. I was looking out the window of the train, it was raining and I had this feeling of being full, feeling complete.
I wish I had that dream.
Unemployment has different effects on different people, depending what their weakness is, mine is that I think of great plans but I never act on them, I start, but I leave it half way, because I'm lazy.
So to me unemployment is this person who is showing me the mirror atleast ten times a day.
Self discipline, mind management, time management, enthusiasm, they all visit for a few hours and then they leave.
Sad. Very sad.
" Oh you have time! You can do anything you want to! You can go out, paint, exercise, join a class."
Frustration.
"Oh you are soo lucky to not have a job! You can do anything you want! Go out on a vacation, do yoga! Meditate! You'll never gets this time back"
I am not not having a job out of choice. Bullshit.
You know, meditation helps. But most of the time I feel like I'm a pregnant woman, hormones going crazy, moods changing drastically, every hour. Unemployment has the potential to drive me nuts.
There are days where I'm thinking to myself that 'hey! I can start something of my own! this is great!' or 'hey! good things take time.' I have my fair share of optimism and I try, but by the fourth day, I'm done, I just don't know what to do!
I know a bunch of people who would kill to get some time, hell I was one of those people. Making huge lists of what books I'll read, all the places I want to go to.
But, not having a job, makes you sad, sadness leads to self doubt which leads to lethargy and here I am whining in an article about not having a job.
I am learning everyday, today is just one of those bad days, that's all. I am learning that there are people who are self driven, I am not those people, I need to be pushed, I need to be inspired.
Not having a job isn't just about not having a job. It's a very tough journey of accepting some really difficult truths about yourself and trying a little everyday to fight them. Some days you win, some days you lose.
I am a strong believer in the fact that sometimes, no matter how much we try, we are unable to take the next step. My explanation for this is that maybe we're not trying for the right thing, maybe the universe is trying to steer us in a different direction or maybe we're just out of luck and support. But that doesn't mean that we quit.
We try a little. Take baby steps everyday and remember that tomorrow is a new day.
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